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September 6, 2008
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n2ops
Posts:464
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| 05/14/2007 9:45 PM |
 Alert
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KellzDMB15
Posts:16
Posted:09/30/2005 9:57 PM
Hi, my name is Kelly. I am eighteen years old and I am currently a freshman in college. I have been depressed for as long as I can remember, and because of this, I have a history of self abuse. When I was about thirteen years old, I began cutting myself. At first, it was a way to release anger and depression, but soon it was an addiction. Through therapy, I stopped a few years later. Instead, however, I started smoking pot and occasionally drinking. I eventually saw that smoking and drinking caused me to lose many friends, and I stopped. Last year, though, I got extremely stressed out and depressed, and I started cutting again. I ended up cutting my arm and leg about 40 times. Finally I went to a teacher whom I trusted and told him. He helped me a lot, made me promise to stop, and convinced me to tell my mom and my therapist. Now I have to live with visible scars that make it hard for me to where shorts and t-shirts. But my experience has made me stronger, and able to offer insight. If you are hurting yourself, there is nothing more important than reaching out and talking to someone. I would be more than happy to talk with you, whether you are just thinking about hurting yourself, you have been, and/or want to stop. You are not alone, so feel free to reach out. I look forward to talking to you.
couldITbeWORSE
Posts:3
Posted:11/08/2005 6:06 PM
hi,i used to cut my arm but stoped because i once cut a vein and bled so bad that i almost fainted.I havent thought of doing it agian until latly because of the crazy things going on in my house. i dont want to start agian.
KellzDMB15
Posts:16
Posted:11/09/2005 12:17 AM
I understand how hard it can be to stay strong during hard times. I have found that when my urges to start cutting again were strongest, it was important to find someone I could talk to. This person has varied a lot from close friends to teachers I trust. In fact, the reason I stopped was because a teacher I was close to made me promise him that I wouldn't cut. Also, seeing a psychiatrist for medication and talking to a therapist has helped me in dealing with my depression and other things that make me want to cut. The last time I talked to my therapist about wanting to cut, he actually suggested alternatives that might give me the same relief. One of these that helped me was letting an ice cube melt in my hand...it hurts (like cutting) and I have control over that pain, but it is not harmful and there are no scars. People are different, though, and so I can't say what might work for you. If are really scared about hurting yourself, you should try and talk to an adult you trust like a teacher or counselor...it may be scary, but it is easier than trying to go through it alone.
I hope you keep us posted on how things are going.
lovelikecrazy
Posts:2
Posted:02/15/2006 4:33 PM
i have tryed to do it too. only it didn't help my parents found out and my life got worse then had ever been. i haven't did it sence 21/2 months ago. i used to tell people the cat srached me and that i cut myself puting wood on the fire (we have a wood stove). stupid stuff like that, then i met my friend and pastor dc and we spoke about how teens use stupid ways to get rid of anger. then cutting came up. we spoke to jesus about things that hurt us and made us want to cut, drink, or, smoke. i confessed i stood up and told the whole group what was happening with me. i told all there was to tell, i explained why (when my grandmother died in october i got very depressed and hated everyone, i wished i could just die and so i started cutting and hopeing i would hit it just right and bleed to death), when i realized what was happening i confessed. i stoped for the sake of jesus being my best friend. i thought of him like all my other friends. when i hurt him , he would run ( not realy but thats how my friends are with this stuff), i thought what if jesus saw me like this, and was right here and could stop the friendship with him. jesus would run for someone he could trust!! i think i am better but it never hurts to pray for me ( if you could it'd be awsome)! thanx ! lovelikecrazy!
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lovelikecrazy
jesusisthe1@refreshmail.com
KellzDMB15
Posts:16
Posted:02/15/2006 11:18 PM
First of all, I just want to thank you for posting. I think that it is amazing that you could stand up and share your story with other people. In my own experience, I have found that sharing my story has not only helped me, but it has allowed others to see that they are not alone. Jesus was also a part of my healing process. I knew that he wouldn't want me to hurt myself, and hurt God's creation. It is important to know that Jesus is always by our side. I also had to do a lot of praying to get through hard times. (I still do.) I truly hope that you will stay well, and I will be praying for you. If you have any questions about ways/suggestions to keeping yourself from cutting again, feel free to contact me. Thanks again for posting.
love_like_crazy
Posts:38
Posted:03/02/2006 4:36 PM
i have a problem i kinda did it again last night! but only once not excessively! just with a safty pin its to small to see now! but that doesn't mean it was right!
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liz
"may the Lord bless you in all of your days."
KellzDMB15
Posts:16
Posted:03/03/2006 3:14 AM
Thank you for reaching out; it shows a lot of strength in you. While it may seem like it is smaller because the wound is smaller, it is still just as bad. You need to find an adult whom you can trust and talk to him/her. I know it may be hard, and it may make you feel vulnerable, but it is important to reach out to someone who can help you. This can be anyone, from your pastor to a trusted teacher to the school nurse. If your pastor already knows the story, then it might be easier going to him. It is also important to find someone (this might be the same person) who you can call or talk to when you feel like you are going to cut. This has been very important in my own recovery. I always try to make sure that there are atleast a few people whom I can call if I feel like I am going to cut. For me, these people include a past teacher, my best friend, my mother, and one of my mentors. If this is not someone you would usually talk to on the phone, then it may be helpful to call them first when nothing is wrong. Doing this allows you to begin to feel comfortable enough to call when there really is a problem. If you can't find anyone whom you can trust enough, then please email me through this site. Please keep us updated, and may God's peace be with you.
love_like_crazy
Posts:38
Posted:03/03/2006 11:05 AM
hey your right and it helps to have when live hurts by my side! i trust this site alot. n2ops and i talk alot through email and that helps i b/c he doesn't know who i am so i look at it like a jurnal and it helps b/c he sends back the most incouraging massages! my friends help too!!
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liz
"may the Lord bless you in all of your days."
KellzDMB15
Posts:16
Posted:03/03/2006 2:55 PM
I am so happy to hear that you have a trustworthy network around you. Last night I was talking to a close friend of mine until almost 5am, because he was upset about his girlfriend dumping him, and decided to get drunk. It seems that alcohol is often overlooked as something we use to abuse ourselves. While this friend has a lot of healing to do, I feel blessed that he trusts me enough to reach out. Even though some nights I feel like I am doing nothing, and I can't help him, by the end of the night (or morning) I realize that, if nothing else, I distracted him for that time period from doing something to hurt himself further, or maybe even attempt to take his life. In addition, talking to him and trying to help him, forced me to recognize some things that I had been refusing to acknowledge. For example, I was trying to tell him the importance of loving yourself before loving someone else. And while saying this to him, I realized that I had been stubbornly refusing to hear that message. I have done things to myself that I would never even dream of doing to someone else. Talking to him actually helped me move forward in my own healing process. I think this is one of those times when God is working in mysterious ways.
love_like_crazy
Posts:38
Posted:03/03/2006 3:08 PM
thats realy cool that you could help him. i have a friend (guy) who is doing drugs. he is 15 and its been happening sence october. he realy worries me. but then he tells me all the time "if you truely know Jesus you don't worry" or "don't worry about any thing instead pray about everything." ! sometimes i want to tell him to practice what he preches b/c, he worries more then i do! hahahah! he's like a father at 15, very protective and supportive. if i date the bad guy he trys to change my mind!
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liz
"may the Lord bless you in all of your days."
KellzDMB15
Posts:16
Posted:03/04/2006 12:50 AM
He's lucky to have a friend like you who will reach out to him. While it is important to have faith in and trust Jesus, it is also important to work on getting him help. Even if he is 'just' smoking pot, it is still serious and needs to be helped. I know that a lot of people think that smoking marijuana is not a big deal, but I know personally that it almost ruined my life, it almost cause my sister to lose her daughter, and I have seen it slowly ruin my brother's life. Whether he is doing 'bigger' drugs, smoking pot, or even drinking under age, he needs to seek help. It is still important to pray for him, and I will be praying for both of you.
love_like_crazy
Posts:38
Posted:03/06/2006 4:54 PM
thanx! his friend almost died from acolhol poisoning at a party. really bad!
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liz
"may the Lord bless you in all of your days."
simplekindofgrrl
Posts:82
Posted:03/28/2006 3:28 PM
iv been hurt when i hered that my li sister was hut and had to go to the doc. i didnt sleep all night untill i new she was home in bed where i new nothing could happen to her. then the only seelp i got was only a houre. please help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
simplekindofgrrl
Posts:82
Posted:03/28/2006 3:28 PM
iv been hurt when i hered that my li sister was hut and had to go to the doc. i didnt sleep all night untill i new she was home in bed where i new nothing could happen to her. then the only seelp i got was only a houre. please help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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When Life Hurts is an outreach of On The Road Youth Ministry, Box 115, Mount Morris NY 14510. On The Road Youth Ministry is a 501(c)3 organization. Funding is provided by local churches, individual donors, The Wal Mart Foundation and donations through the donor option program of Greater Rochester United Way. To learn more about On The Road Youth Ministry please log on to www.otrym.org
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